I spent the past 17 months with a compass sized contraption in my chest. It looks like this:
That long tail thing that goes into the jugular vein freaked me out a little. It hurt a lot when it was installed and it took some time to get used to the idea. But I understood that it would be my chemo delivery system and I should make peace with him. So I named him Mort the Port and considered him an ally.
I recently got the news that my oncologist doesn’t think I’ll need him anymore. This is huge. The idea that your conservative, careful cancer doctor doesn’t think you will need any more chemo for the foreseeable future is a big deal. A break in the clouds. A bright sunbeam of happiness!
So two days ago, I went to the hospital. And I looked like this:
And then they put me out with some heavy drugs and scraped out Mort. So I liked like this:
Cute, huh?? So Kevin took me home and let me rest with a cat on me, like this:
I got a little more energy from snuggling with this little bug:
I got brave and took off the bandages yesterday. Eeeek:
It’s so swollen, it looks and feels like Mort is still in there. But I know he’s not. It’s a new era in my journey. So many prayers have been answered. Since we got that awful news, literally from that moment, everything, while difficult and painful at times, has gone with perfect precision. This blessing does not escape me. I am so grateful.
I met a Brazillian faith healer by a river in Oregon, who talked to me half in Portugese and half in English. (Yes, I know this sounds made up. It’s not.) So I missed a lot of what she said. And she said a lot of strange things to me (including the f-word every sentence or two and that dogs cure cancer) but she grabbed my hands and urged me to trust in my having been healed by God and to be fearless. Interestingly, the same day, I went to this bakery and had a cookie so delicious I’ll never forget it.