So “selfie” is apparently a real word now.  It seems it was added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary in 2014 along with the word “hashtag.” 

This seems silly and funny and weird.  I mean…we are so obsessed with ourselves that not only do we take self portraits, but we take so many of them we needed a cute little new word to describe them.   
Taking a selfie isn’t wrong.  I started doing it much more often when I found out I had cancer.  I guess I felt like 1. I didn’t care what people thought and 2. If I died, I wanted there to be evidence that I lived!  I don’t know about you but ain’t nobody following me around with a camera!  So I became more comfortable with taking photos of myself.
So, there’s a typical selfie.  It’s fine, right?  A little indulgent, perhaps.  But it’s fun.  Also, I do love that necklace.
But there are these other kinds of selfies that I notice the kids are taking these days.  So I thought I’d give it a try.  
The duck face.  I think this is what you do if you, like, want to make a guy who dumped you mad.  Like, realize from your provocative pic that he is missing out!  
Am I doing it right?
No?  This?

Ha!  Ok.  I suck at duck face.  So, then there is the selfie that appears to stem from one being in the car, looking at oneself and going “wow!  I look fantastic!  Everyone has got to see this!”
You can tell the person is in the car from the lighting and in the reflection of the sunglasses.  It’s glorious.  
This next one, I’m plenty guilty of.  It’s the old “just got my hair did” post.  (I like posting these because people freak out about how different I look with straight hair.)  This one also takes place in the car. You leave the salon, get in your car, powder your nose, add more lipstick and take pictures of yourself until you get one you don’t hate.  You add a filter because dear, Lord, direct sunlight is unkind.  You (I? We?) do this because even though we are vain enough to do this, we are not quite vain enough to take a photo of ourselves actually in the presence of others.  We do this semi privately for some reason.  (Like how people pick their nose five feet away from you in the next lane over on the freeway – Sir, everyone can see you!)
This next one is real weird.  I’ve only read about it, not actually seen anyone do it.  Apparently it’s a thing to take a selfie of yourself “sleeping.”  Ha!  What?? Hahahahahaha!  I cracked myself up doing this one, imagining people doing this with any level of seriousness.  
Then of course you have your photo taken (by yourself stretching your arm out awkwardly, sort of trying to make it seem like possibly someone else took it, maybe?) from an odd angle (maybe to make us look skinnier or something?)
(Note to self: that kind of works.)
And the odd super extra fierce look.
Yikes!  I mean…why??  If I had a fancy app, I would put a caption on this photo that said FEAR ME.  Stop it, we’re scaring the children.  
So why do we take these and post them?  For attention.  For affirmation.  To prove, somehow, we exist.  Maybe because it’s fun.  And because no one else is doing it for us.  I have a friend who passed away, and her mom recently commented on another friend’s photo that she was glad her daughter took a lot of selfies.  I imagine it’s because she has a lot of funny, beautiful, silly, happy photos of her amazing daughter just doing life.  Unless you’re a Kardashian (if you ARE and you’re reading this “hi!!”) no one is snapping pics of your every move. So, my friends, snap away.  Enjoy.  Who cares.   Less duck face.  But try that angle thing.  

Flush (and reminders on how to help cancer patients.)

Yesterday I went to get Mort the port flushed.  

I have to keep him in for a year in case I need a “touch up” of chemo.  Shudder.  So I have to go in every 6 weeks to get him cleaned out with a saline flush so he doesn’t get clogged.  It was weird going back.

I had a new nurse and the way she complimented my hair, I am pretty sure she thought it was a wig.  She said “That looks great.”  I just smiled and said “thanks.”  
It was strange to be there not getting chemo.  I don’t have negative associations with the place because chemo doesn’t make you feel bad for a day or so.  I have more negative associations looking at my couch.  But it’s still weird to go back, seeing so many sick people.  It filled me with gratitude.  And I prayed for them to have hope, to be positive, that people are taking good care of them.  
You don’t see too many people alone at chemo, and if they are alone, they are probably just getting their port flushed like me.  It’s lovely to see the caregivers supporting the patients.  Cancer patients fight the battle but it requires many armor bearers.  I had/have some great armor bearers.  If you’re reading this and you know someone with cancer, please think about how you can serve them.  I know it’s awkward.  Sometimes we just don’t know what to do.  I’ve shared some tips before on this, but here’s a list of ideas:
Send a card with a heartfelt message – don’t just sign your name: say something authentic and personal 
Send flowers – they really do help
Send an Edible Arrangement or Shari’s Berries
Make a meal and drop it off – ask a family member for suggestions
Give a gift of pampering: a massage or spa treatment, a super soft blanket, some fancy lotion or high quality bubble bath
Here is a cool site that makes it easy:
Restaurant or grocery store gift cards
Take over a case of bottled water or if they are avoiding plastic  ( Here’s an article on the dangers of plastic: ) a nice glass water bottle  – cancer patients need to hydrate.  Take some flavonoid rich  lemons and limes too!
If they have kids, take their kids somewhere fun
If they have a dog, take it for a walk
Clean their cat litter box
Take their primary caregiver to a rock concert (or the symphony…whatever.)
Pray for the cancer patient and tell them regularly what you’re praying
Show up and wash their car or cut their grass or rake their leaves
Buy them a fabulous season-appropriate scarf 
Give them a great pair of slippers
Get them a great book
Finally, if you’re a close friend and they just got diagnosed, offer to coordinate meals, visits, etc.  Be the point person so they don’t have to ask for help.  Organize the help for them.  Seriously, this is a huge help.  
A couple of quick “don’ts.”
Don’t say “let me know if you need anything.”  Cancer patients aren’t going to ask you to go pick up their dry cleaning (hey, don’t get your clothes dry cleaned – it’s toxic.)   They need you to offer specifically what you’re willing to do and sometimes you need to just go ahead and do it.  I know, it’s hard/awkward to just do stuff, but I’ve talked to many cancer fighters and so far, I’ve heard a lot of complaints about people saying “let me know if you need something.”  And zero complaints about some pushy person who kept making freshly baked bread or watering their plants or sending beautiful flower bouquets.  Seriously JUST DO IT.  
Don’t only focus on the patient when you visit/talk.  They want to hear about your life, too.  
Try not to complain too much, though.  When you’re facing death as a possible outcome, your tolerance for bitching about car trouble or a nosy neighbor is minimal.  
Drop by, but not unannounced – give a sister (or brother) a heads up so she can put on her “visiting jammies.”
As someone in remission, my hope is that I can support cancer patients, particularly the recently diagnosed.  One of the ways I can do that is by getting this information out to the general population.  My goal is that no one can say they don’t know what to do to help someone with cancer.  So, share a link to this page if you found it helpful.