Selfie-o-rama

So “selfie” is apparently a real word now.  It seems it was added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary in 2014 along with the word “hashtag.” 

This seems silly and funny and weird.  I mean…we are so obsessed with ourselves that not only do we take self portraits, but we take so many of them we needed a cute little new word to describe them.   
Taking a selfie isn’t wrong.  I started doing it much more often when I found out I had cancer.  I guess I felt like 1. I didn’t care what people thought and 2. If I died, I wanted there to be evidence that I lived!  I don’t know about you but ain’t nobody following me around with a camera!  So I became more comfortable with taking photos of myself.
So, there’s a typical selfie.  It’s fine, right?  A little indulgent, perhaps.  But it’s fun.  Also, I do love that necklace.
But there are these other kinds of selfies that I notice the kids are taking these days.  So I thought I’d give it a try.  
The duck face.  I think this is what you do if you, like, want to make a guy who dumped you mad.  Like, realize from your provocative pic that he is missing out!  
Am I doing it right?
No?  This?

Ha!  Ok.  I suck at duck face.  So, then there is the selfie that appears to stem from one being in the car, looking at oneself and going “wow!  I look fantastic!  Everyone has got to see this!”
You can tell the person is in the car from the lighting and in the reflection of the sunglasses.  It’s glorious.  
This next one, I’m plenty guilty of.  It’s the old “just got my hair did” post.  (I like posting these because people freak out about how different I look with straight hair.)  This one also takes place in the car. You leave the salon, get in your car, powder your nose, add more lipstick and take pictures of yourself until you get one you don’t hate.  You add a filter because dear, Lord, direct sunlight is unkind.  You (I? We?) do this because even though we are vain enough to do this, we are not quite vain enough to take a photo of ourselves actually in the presence of others.  We do this semi privately for some reason.  (Like how people pick their nose five feet away from you in the next lane over on the freeway – Sir, everyone can see you!)
This next one is real weird.  I’ve only read about it, not actually seen anyone do it.  Apparently it’s a thing to take a selfie of yourself “sleeping.”  Ha!  What?? Hahahahahaha!  I cracked myself up doing this one, imagining people doing this with any level of seriousness.  
Zzzzzzzz.
Then of course you have your photo taken (by yourself stretching your arm out awkwardly, sort of trying to make it seem like possibly someone else took it, maybe?) from an odd angle (maybe to make us look skinnier or something?)
(Note to self: that kind of works.)
And the odd super extra fierce look.
Yikes!  I mean…why??  If I had a fancy app, I would put a caption on this photo that said FEAR ME.  Stop it, we’re scaring the children.  
So why do we take these and post them?  For attention.  For affirmation.  To prove, somehow, we exist.  Maybe because it’s fun.  And because no one else is doing it for us.  I have a friend who passed away, and her mom recently commented on another friend’s photo that she was glad her daughter took a lot of selfies.  I imagine it’s because she has a lot of funny, beautiful, silly, happy photos of her amazing daughter just doing life.  Unless you’re a Kardashian (if you ARE and you’re reading this “hi!!”) no one is snapping pics of your every move. So, my friends, snap away.  Enjoy.  Who cares.   Less duck face.  But try that angle thing.  

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