Getting things done around the holidays when you’re healthy is enough of a challenge. This is my 35th Christmas season and things are a little different. I bring you…Christmas splendor: the chemo version.
Sleigh bells ring…are you kidding me?! I don’t know who is making that racket but Mommy is trying to sleep because she was up three times last night maybe almost but not quite having to barf. So. Shhhh! Shush! Everyone just please knock it off with the sleigh bells.
In the lane, snow is glistening…crap. Snow means cold. And cold means crazy neuropathy hands! If I have to walk more then a block in the cold during the bad chemo week…it’s kind of horrible. My hands and feet go numb and my bronchial tubes spasm. It’s a carousel of delights, for sure.
In the meadow we can build a snowman…are you nuts!? I can’t touch snow. My hands will fall off.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…so far, Christmas looks like me hurrying through the mall sweating profusely because I have so many freaking layers on to protect me from the cold. Sweating, vaguely nauseous, seething with rage at the woman ahead of me with seven different Macy’s coupons. It’s real cute.
Bring us some figgy pudding…or anything about egg nog…good heavens. Stop. I will puke directly on you. I’ll do it.
Here comes Santa Claus…nope. He’d better not be on his way yet. You just wait right there, Sir. I am So not ready. It takes me twice as long to do everything!! Sometimes my fingers are paralyzed. So wrapping gifts is like an immunity challenge on Survivor.
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus…damned right. Because “Santa” is basically doing everything. Like baking the cookies while I sit on the couch with this: