Today I had a PET Scan. This test involves the following:
– Getting up ridiculously early. Probably not every time but in this case, it did.
– Nothing to eat/drink that day – pshaw, that’s nothing after a liquid diet for a week.
– Hang on. yes, it is something. Because…coffee. Yeah. No coffee. 🙁
– Then, Crystal Light time. I assume it has something medically necessary in it.
– Vein abuse is next – if I had a nickle for every IV, blood draw….I know, it’s only just begun.
– Weird radioactive dye. The IVs gross me out but the injecting of weird stuff. Eeeeeek.
– One hour of “sitting quietly.” I am not sure why I have to be quiet.
– So, Candy Crush (level 59, yo.) Also music. Mid-90s worship music. (I know, I’m the pinnacle of cool.)
It’s not so bad. They give you a warmed up blanket. So you “sit quietly” for an hour. This part was actually kind of nice, once I can tune out that icky needle-in-my-arm feeling. Then they put you on this bed and it moves you through this iPod colored (clinical white) tunnel about 6 times over 25 minutes. Clustrophobes beware. They also give you this weird iodine injection that makes you feel like you are having a major hot flash. Thank God they warn you about this, otherwise you would think they are accidentally microwaving you. Honestly, the first time I had this done, I would have totally freaked out if they hadn’t given me a heads up.
In 24 hours the results (which hopefully show nothing we don’t already know about) will go to my doc and as long as all is (relatively) well, this will be the baseline from which they compare future PET scans to make sure Cancer-o-rama isn’t spreading into my liver or lungs. It better not. No, stupid Cancer. Sit. Stay. Die.
My state of mind is pretty good. I’m calm. I feel hopeful and grateful. God is meeting my needs, daily. I am treating this experience as a growing opprintunity that is preparing me for future difficult, challenging circumstances. I am believing that God is using this to soften and stregnthen me, to build me up, to shine light in darkness, to spread hope and bring clarity. The verse that has been shared with me over and over – it comes to mind continually and others share it to encourage me….
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
Many complain that this verse is taken out of context. And it is. This is not a personal message from God to me, necessarily. It is comforting to think of it in that way. And that’s probably ok. But the real message of this Scripture…the fact that God is addressing not one person but a NATION, and that it refers (if you get real dorky into the original language and intended meaning) not only to those people way back then, but a future people, you see that it’s even bigger than God knowing the plans He has for me (which He does, of course.) But it’s talking about US. The Kingdom of God. The Church. Redemption for all who seek His face.
I want to live a long time. And I believe I will. I’m here for a reason, I have a lot of accomplish on behalf of the Lord and such. But. If we believe in Him for what He says He will do for us. If we believe in the truth of the cross. If we buy into it, if we throw all our chips in, betting on Jesus…If that’s true, if we’re right. It doesn’t really matter. Because the glory to come…it makes this whole thing so tiny and brief and insignificant. We will be together in the end. Forever. It will be better than we could ever imagine. He will make every sad thing untrue, to roughly quote Tolkien.
So, all that to say…I’m still planning on kicking this thing’s ass. Well, God will do His part, I’ll do mine – you know, that whole business of working as though it depends solely on you and praying as though it depends solely on God. If you want to do your part – keep praying. And bring me your best effort at a Mac & Cheese recipe. Unless I decide that my part includes going vegan. 🙂
Amen.